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Today marks the first day of the unhealthiest time of the year. Not Thanksgiving. Not Christmas.


Octoberger.

For those of you who don’t know, let me clarify. Octoberger is not referring to the consumption of a mere eight burgers. No, Octoberger is a magical, hedonistic time in Portland when participants eat one burger every day for the entire month of October, totaling thirty-one burgers in one month. Feel like you haven’t been getting enough red meat lately? That your stomach has gotten lazy and could use a bit of a challenge? Octoberger is for you.

A few years ago, @Mattrpayton and friends were viewing the annual Best Burgers in Portland survey and had the initial, innocent thought, what if we tried them all? Things got a little out of hand that night, and Octoberger was born. It wreaked havoc on their bodies and bank accounts, but they did it, and it has become a tradition.

If you are thinking about attempting this, there are a few things you should know. First, it is literally not for the faint hearted. Seriously, don't try it if you have heart problems. Second, the rules are simple: eat 31 burgers in October. You can miss a day or days as long as you make up for it later, within the month of October. Last, since Octoberger is not something to attempt blindly, here are some tips from the pros:

  1. Prepare. Warming up isn’t just for athletes – it’s not a good idea to go from sitting to sprinting, nor is it advisable to go from eating quinoa and tempeh to downing 1/3 lbs of red beef daily. Unfortunately, it’s too late for this now – hopefully you’re warm already.
  2. Keep pace. You don’t want to want to wind up having to eat 4 burgers a day for the last week.
  3. Keep all your other meals to salad or fruit. Actually, at two weeks in this will probably be all you want to eat anyway.
  4. Work out every day. Or twice a day. It’s a race between you and all the carbs, and you don’t want to lose.

There it is, all the information we can give to help tackle Octoberger. The courage and discipline are up to you. Good luck.